19 Dating Dealbreakers That Are 100% Not Worth The Hassle, According To Real-Life People (2024)

When it comes to relationships, there are probably a few qualities a potential partner could have that would make you say, "NOPE!" Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed community to share their biggest dating dealbreakers. Here's what they had to say:

Note: Some submissions are from this Reddit thread.

1. "Communication inconsistencies because that's a slippery slope to their getting comfy in that zone fast. Saying you'll message by a certain period and not doing it. I get that life gets busy. It does for everyone but you couldn't put one sentence communicating that? The intention/energy doesn't match the action. Before you know it, it's a week of no talk and you're waiting for them to reply but can't tell if it's busyness or them moving on."

Sarah Shatz / © Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection

—u/spiritualien

2. "I put up with a lot that I would never put up with now that I've found my husband. Any man who told me 'I'm not ready for a relationship, but we can have fun' should have been kicked to the curb ASAP."

—fieldsshannon1740

3. "I don't have an issue dating single dads. However, I will not date a dad who doesn't financially support his kids or doesn't see them."

4. "I hope people understand the difference between being close to your mom and being a mommy's boy. It's so unsettling and frustrating to see grown men who will always hang off their mom, always needing to be held by and pampered by her, and having the mom see you as her enemy. It's not the guy's fault, but I cannot date someone who has a relationship with their mom like this. You can love her for sure, but the line... It's a fine line but it's there."

—Anonymous

5. "Dirty hands or fingernails. If your fingernails are dirty I don't want to see what else is."

6. "Anyone who gossips about their ex is an immediate no. if they gossip about their ex to their current date, there's a pretty good chance they'll gossip about me to their future date. It drives me nuts. People who gossip to you WILL gossip about you."

—Astrid, Oklahoma

7. "Honestly, any interaction that feels like work. If I say no and they push back, it's too much work. If they want to play 'devil's advocate', it's too much work. If I feel like I'm doing all of the talking, it's too much work. Early dating should be easy and fun. I've had deep, meaningful conversations on first dates but they came easily and didn't feel like work."

8. "I'm a woman and my man can't be shorter or younger than me."

—Mary, Melbourne, Australia

9. "I am monogamous and am clear about that. The number of guys who have come at me with "I really like you and think this could be something but want to be able to f--k a bunch of other women. Would you be open to polyamory?" NO. F--K OFF."

10. "Substance abuse, dishonesty, and not following through with what they say they're going to do."

—u/or_ange_kit_ty

11. "Being mean or irrationally demanding (i.e. yelling, condescending, or extreme pickiness) to restaurant staff, servers, or retail staff. It's etiquette and respect for others. Also, would I want to cook a meal for this person?"

12. "Being immature and celebrity-obsessed. It's the biggest ick."

—Anonymous

13. "I've been happily married to my animal-loving husband for a long time now, but there was a time that I ended a seven-month-long relationship because he tried to kick my cats out of the bedroom altogether. They'd been sleeping with me for the past 15 or so years. Bye-bye, a--hole."

14. "I'm a pansexual woman; I'm not only attracted to men. Male partners always think that means I'll be down for an open relationship, poly relationship, or threesome. If we go out to an event, they'll often try to push or pull me toward women they find attractive hoping there will be a physical spark. I immediately lose interest."

—redcookie34

15. "If I get any sense of disrespect of me, my emotions, my time, or anything I am out. A guy told me to 'chill' once because I brought up something before meeting and never unmatched someone so fast."

16. "Values are important to me. When he calls at 8 a.m. and asks if I want to go to the beach that afternoon, I respond by asking him why he's not at work and he tells me that he called in sick so we could go to the beach. Yeah, hard no! Shows a lack of morals and low work ethic."

—grumpyrocket184

17. "Cheating. After that, there is no trust."

18. "Someone who makes conversation a competition. Trying to show they are smarter, better, fancier, or know more. I know some people get nervous, but if you're kind, you get kindly nervous. Kind people don't turn into dicks when they are nervous. Good luck!"

—u/helfunk

19. And finally, "In general, I'm comfortable being alone. If I'm not happier with you than I am being alone, that's a dealbreaker for me."

What's your biggest dating dealbreaker? Share it in the comments!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.